How I (Didn't) Go to North Korea

The most isolated country on Earth. No internet, no real news, just a personality cult. The subway looks like an underground palace. I'm telling you how to get in, what you can and can't do there, why the local ideology is called Juche, and what a 105‐story empty building is doing over Pyongyang. This isn't a travel guide. It's an attempt to understand a place where time froze.